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Adventures in Oil Pulling

Did anyone else see that Pinterest piece running around social media promoting oil pulling? I did! There was already a giant jar of coconut oil in my pantry, so when I saw this dealy-bob about ‘oil pulling,’ well, picture me completely geeking out. I knew coconut oil was a substitute for butter. And the ultimate deep conditioner. And, did I mention it’s great on baby’s bum for diaper rash?! Needless to say, when I discovered a new use of this heavenly substance,  I immediately jumped on the bandwagon – only to discover I suck at it. And by ‘suck at it,’ I mean I decided to spit the used oil into the sink in our bathroom.

Here’s the thing – it’s not that I didn’t think that it might clog. The thought crossed my mind! But I’m familiar with coconut oil, and I know it’s super sensitive to temperature, so I just figured that in the event of a clogged sink I would run hot water down the drain and it would melt away. Problem solved, right?

Image

No. Definitely not. This photo was actually taken 24 hours after the incident. The water was halfway up the sink before, and has slowly receded.

Guess what else oil pulling taught me? I don’t know how to use a plunger.

Picture the above water – with flakes of what I imagine are moldy poop dislodged from the aforementioned plunger – all over my sink, and mirror, and skincare regimen, and, yes, even my face. (Excuse me while I go take a bath in some bleach.)

This goes out to all those who are dear to me. Family, friends, or even acquaintances on the interweb who may have been equally as stoked about this oil pulling deal as I was. If you decide to test the oil pulling water, please spit that shit in the trash. Otherwise, you could end up with a different ‘organic’ substance in your mouth. The picture speaks for itself. You’ve been warned.